Can I please get back on topic. I'm expressing my concerns HERE not to them. I'm 6 months out from being on my own. S19 is the one discussing college but that's because he's hoping he will get grant money now that I'm separated. He asks D17 what her plans are and she say she'll probably go to the same community college he's attending. I think that is a good plan and I have supported that. She can go to NY after the 2 years if we can work it out somehow. For the record she has not mentioned NY since before H left.

I'm struggling. I can't even read those posts today (I will after I calm down) because just glancing at them makes me feel awful. The past 2 days I've been in tears at work. I take my meds before I go home so the kids don't have to see that. On the really bad days I'm not fooling D17 because she will ask "are you okay?" Yes I'm fine. "You seem quiet". Oh sorry didn't realize that.....tell me about you day? Wonder when we will get those kittens? Or I'll start looking at the videos she sent me.

THIS IS HARD and I do not have my support group anymore. I just want someone to talk to, to let me say whatever awful thing I need to say, to validate my feelings. I'm actually triggered today over seeing H (and not hearing back from my attorney) and yet last night I was fine. Why? Meds. For the record I'm under the care of a great doctor she knows the dosage I'm taking and the timeline I plan on taking it. I try not to take them on the weekends because I know I need breaks from it. Sometimes I can't make it but that is my goal. Last week I skipped 2 days. I'm aware of what I need to do.

Last edited by job; 05/19/20 05:43 PM. Reason: edited a word for Kas