Las. You literally said your daughter has no future. We all have a future if we chose to. She’s a 17 year old girl about to enter adulthood and that’s the last way she needs to feel and have her mother feel the same way. Just because she can’t go to NYU, doesn’t mean she can’t pursue dreams.
Do sit down with her and talk about her goals and dreams ? And if you do, please don’t tell me you kill them because your H left and the money left.
She needs you. She needs you in so many ways. I know you hurt and have a hard time seeing past your own pain, but if you are going to distract away from that, pour yourself into your kids and their futures. I come to you thread and read how they are so embroiled with the drama with their father. You can be the one to direct attention away from that. What are D 14’s goals? Do you guys talk about all the things she enjoys? Her relationships with her friends and her school work? Any sports or activities they enjoy? S19 seems like a bright kid. How about him? I have a near daily convo with my daughter about school, her friends, activities and even though she is 12, her hopes and dreams.
The greatest gift you can give those kids is the ability to be their age at this time, make sure they realize that they have a hope and a future and the divorce isn’t going to destroy it.
You are not the poorest of poor. You actually have some money left over at the end of the month! And BTW, a whole lot of my coworkers have kids in college. They started doing the research and legwork with their kids to get them off to college. A lot go to state schools. Found grants, scholarships and took out loans. Did not bankrupt themselves. But it took Work. I know a single mom of 2 . Deadbeat dad. She didn’t make much money Her son went to Stamford and her daughter to Dartmouth. And they don’t have to be Ivy League schools.
Please don’t give up on your kids futures. We all want better for our kids than we had, right? I remember my mother did not. She had no GED and a cashier job off the books because she was on disability. She wanted me to be as miserable as she was when my dad left. And I’ll never forget it. I want so much better for my daughter. I want her to be successful and never have to rely on a man. I want her to teach for her goals and dreams and be self sufficient. I’m planning our move when she graduates high school to a cheaper part of this country so she can attend college there and hopefully build a life there because I don’t want her to be in the position I am in.
