Made it a year - part 3

[Dawn70]

Anybody here have college aged kids? S19 got a 32 on the ACT and will still owe $20k after attending a community college. I worked my way through college but it cost $600 a semester and now it’s $10k. Thats $40k for a degree who has that kind of cash? Ok so get loans where are the jobs? I work with 2 people with degrees, $40k in debt and they make $13 an hour. One has a teaching degree too.

D17 will be fine and what she wants to do doesn’t require a $40k degree. We were going to send her to NY but that’s not happening. She will probably get a 2 year degree and a grant should cover most of it.

I don’t have a kid in college but that doesn’t mean I’m not aware of things. My nephew just graduated from the same state school I graduated from eons ago. He made a 26 on his ACT and graduated high school with a GPA of 3.7. He made it all 4 years without a loan because he did get grant money and a lot of scholarships. He was neither a scholar nor an athlete. My niece is currently a student at the same university where I work. ACT score of 20, high school GPA of 3.2, scholarships and a little grant money. My sister and brother in law make really good money and yet my niece was still able to procure financial assistance. As I said in my earlier post, I work at a public university, so I work with students on a regular basis on how to get financial aid and scholarships. The money IS there but it does require some work on the part of the student and parents in finding those monies. Many colleges, 2 year schools included, offer work study programs and other financial aid to help defray costs. Many also have a variety of local scholarship funds provided by local, mostly private donors that have less strict requirements than some of the federally-funded programs have. Our university has a foundation supported by private donors that offers scholarship monies to students based on a variety of criteria. Most schools have something similar. We also have a program for students who are first generation college students, which I know exists at other schools across the nation because it is a federally-funded program. Many schools and companies offer paid internships that may result in an actual job after graduation. Yes, student loan debt can be crippling and jobs can be hard to come by but again, they are there if the students look for them.

As far as D17, just because you can’t pay to send her to New York, doesn’t mean she can’t go. And, if you say she’ll get a 2 year degree which will mostly be covered by a grant, then I’m not sure I understand what the problem is. Help your kids focus on their goals and develop strategies for meeting those goals. There is NO reason at all that if your kids want to go to college that they can’t. Just because you don’t still have the financial security you perceived that you had with your H doesn’t mean you can’t help your kids achieve whatever goals they set for themselves. You have talked a lot about your H’s inability to manage money and how you basically kept your joint finances running smoothly. You clearly have good money management skills, so help your kids learn that. Don’t make excuses for them (or for yourself, for that matter) because you have the opportunity right here and right now to teach your children that they can go after whatever they set their mind to. Money is not the be all end all. Sure it helps, but there are plenty of people in this world who do very well for themselves without much money. You keep talking about how poor you are but every time you write that, something you posted awhile back about having a few hundred dollars left at the end of the month sticks in my head. Not everyone has the luxury of having a roof over their heads, food to eat, extra money at the end of the month. Bugs in the shower? Sister, I live in the middle of the woods. Bugs in the shower is a common occurrence. Mud hole in your back door? Is that really the worst thing in the world.

I get that you are going through a terrible time in your life and I feel for you, but you really should try to reframe some things in a more positive light. Focus on the many blessings you do have instead of the things you don’t. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. You have children who love you, a roof over your head, food on the table, a job. You also have the unique opportunity to really find and establish yourself in the life YOU have always wanted. You have a bright future ahead if you’ll just focus on the positive.