[Georgiabelle]

Thanks for popping by. Well....2020 really has been a year. I’ll start with the good. I’m in great heath. I have 3 fantastic kids. I’m very happy to be employed and with a job I love. I have great fur peeps, friends, and as I’ve stated many times, a wonderful relationship with my ex h’s family. I also look Dizzam good in a bikini-particularly for an old person. :-)
I’m lucky I’m so many ways. Haven’t been in love but eh...perhaps that will come one day.

I have a very cordial and friendly relationship with x Mr. GB. For the most part, he lets me do the heavy lifting with the kids and remarried back in the fall. She is always sweet and nice to the kids. They just bought a very swanky (600k house) and travel lots. He does lots of things he used to blast folks for doing. At first, I felt pangs of envy at the 600k house. Not because I want a 600k house but because....well he’s working FT and I don’t know. It felt like he didn’t think we were that important to him. I have an old 45 year old house that is lots of work....but ya know what? It’s homey. I have a roof over my head and it’s peaceful.

I’m going to try to express myself as best as possible because probably like many of you, some days being married to him seemed like a lifetime ago. He struggled the 12 years we were together and was rarely employed. Severe depression and anxiety. And now he makes BIG money and he does pay more than he is supposed to regarding support-which is nice. He gets very agitated with the kids and when he does see them, he literally texts a few hours after getting them when are we meeting. He’s even stated there is no drama with me. Zero. Never any disputes over days (the kids all rarely go visit him) or anything of the sort. Sometimes we have a chuckle over text or a giggle when we see each other. I also have a very keen sense when something is up with him. I just feel it.

So I figured something was up when he wanted all kids to come Friday. He announces that he and his 46 yr old wife are shocked to find out they are having a baby later this year. I’m certain this was a surprise as he is very hands off and has told everyone who would listen he didn’t want a 3rd kid. So now he’s having a 4th. I know I’m rambling but I wanted a 4th kid but knew due to his employment issues and anxiety and depression, that was a bad idea. It was also weird hearing this from the kids just like when he got married. I congratulated him and his wife. Like I said, I kind of think the baby thing is exciting. But I’m also insane about kids.

This is my struggle. My daughter is devastated. She has many abandonment issues with her dad. My 17 yr old is autistic and just kind of shrugged at this. The 10 yr old is excited about being a big brother. I’m actually weirdly excited and I think they are crazy because an infant at 47 isn’t for me but I’m not the one having it so who cares? But this is all....weird. I mean...he left me and he also left his kids. Yet, (and I know it was a shock) but now he’s having another one? I was the one who wanted another (not now obviously but when we were married). I can’t describe how I see this. It looks like everything has worked out fabulously for him which is nice I suppose. Was I that awful? He publicly stated a number of times that having kids ruined his life and made him put his life on hold. I mean I worked 12 hours a day because he didn’t most of the time yet I’m terrified I will get laid off. He’s doing it over again. And please know, I understand it’s not a contest. I do. But wow...,sometimes I think I must have been horrible because it’s like he did a 180.


I dunno. I hope I don’t sound whiny. I’m just trying to relay my feelings. Hope everyone is safe and well. I usually just read along here. Tell me I’m awful. I’m ready. :-)