Hi Paco, I'm going to ask you a silly question--when did you feel you validated her? What does validation mean to you? Validation's an interesting topic so often confused with agreement, there's a whole thread on here trying to differentiate the two! On a 1-10 scale, how would you self-score, "I calmly told her I miss them same or more but that I understand what for her is now stability and routine"?
hi CW! I could feel she is coming from this selfish place where her routine and peace is what she understand should be a peacefully routine. I truly thought I was validating her feelings because then she went on to speak about how much we used to argue when leaving together and I could sense she has suffered that. I don't know, maybe you guys are right and I cannot validate properly. I stopped trying to read into every detail like I was doing at the beginning of this and just wanted to answer to her in a way that expresses my values.
The truth is inside myself I was shocked and offended. I was thinking, is this woman seriously telling me is better for my children to be picked up by a nanny than by their father because is the agreement we signed and is no longer valid? is she really implying that because I leave them with my sister to go running for 30 min I am less of a parent than she is?
Please help me, I could really sense she was calm and wanted to talk to me and I kind of let myself enjoy the moment. Maybe I was wrong, I need to show a strong man who walks away happily ALL THE TIMES.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Me 29 W:29 M: 5yrs T:10yrs S:6 yrs S:1 yr BD: "I want a D" 08/09/19 Sep: 10/27/19
