Finding patience and facing fear

[Kindly]

I no longer have the urge to make small talk with him, because of the things he said to me and the way he said them. Because of the way he continues to treat me, as if the outburst didn't happen.

I’m sorry he treated you like this Cardinal...I feel like every flare up is somehow a small test for us. It definitely tests patience, resolve and I think too our own self respect. I’m still navigating how I feel about these things combined and how to behave for me. This current complete silence and ignoring right now is a new awful and strange.

I'm so sorry your H crashed back in with his irrational thinking. After the break you had, it makes sense that you're feeling on edge and sad. I bet if you ride those feelings, another wave of indifference will come. I was sitting in my room while H talked on the phone to friends, allowing myself for a minute to remember the way things used to be, feeling lonely, and then I saw your post. It made me feel less alone. I hope my reply makes you feel less alone.

It 100000% makes me feel less lonely and I’m so happy I was able to do that for you too. I instantly get a little hug feeling every time I come back on here and see that someone has written on their own page or mine.
And I think your right, it’s finding and riding the wave of indifference, overcoming our own emotional flare ups whether driven by sadness or fear.
I currently don’t like the situation I find myself in. It feels like a game and I’m not one for game playing. He is FULLY ignoring me because of the last correspondence from the L. (Going on to day 3 of this) I know if I talk to him I will get a monster attack of “I can’t talk to you because your lawyer will use it against me”.
Not too sure what to do ....have I given enough detail to ask for advice?
Do I continue to let his silence towards me deafen? Or behave like myself and instigate a good morning or something and risk the attack?
When I really analyze this I don’t really have anything to say, so I think it’s the uncomfortable feeling of zero acknowledgment that we share a space together and of course the feeling of vindicating his opinion of “roommates” again. Do I continue to feel the discomfort and leave him alone to reach out first? Is this part of detaching?

“There is no try” ...Hmmm I’m starting to question Yoda Dnj!!!!
I feel like I’m not “doing”, even tho I can hear you saying sometimes doing nothing is doing something. Lol!!!

K.