Totally fine, the convo has been interesting to follow. I enjoy getting the perspective of you ladies who are old hat at this stuff. Agree with you both that I’ve dodged a bullet.
On the topic of age difference - X is about to be 30, OW is 21. Eight or nine years doesn’t sound like much difference for a middle-aged couple, but it is in your twenties. It’s hard for me to even feel threatened by her because she’s so young.
Your twenties are for discovering yourself, throwing caution to the wind, adventuring and trying new things, rebelling against authority. I’m willing to bet that this affair will just be a chapter in OW’s life and she’ll eventually move on.
A mutual male friend checked out her social media profiles and said there was no trace of XH, but posts and pictures of other guys her age tagged as her ‘besties’. Male friend said “she looks like she likes the attention of the whole village”.
I don’t know the odds of success for affairs turning legit long-term, but there aren’t too many alternate universes where I see this particular one lasting. I kinda hope it does, though.
Them staying together prevents two cheaters from hurting other people. It gives them both exactly what they deserve. It benefits S2 to have another caregiver on his dad’s time. It keeps XH from trying to crawl back into my life.
And it gives me the satisfaction of knowing that no matter how hard XH tries to legitimise their affair, they’ll both be looked at askance as long as they’re together. The relationship is and always will be irreparably tainted.
The pain of abandonment and betrayal was deep and terrible. It was life-altering. But it was finite. XH will never understand that pain, but he will live with unease and discomfort for the rest of his life, whether he’s with her or not.
I’d rather be me, all things considered. You can’t put a price on peace.
