Just had an interesting call from my W, from whom I've been separated for 6 days.
She has had a timeshare on the beach going back a long ways. Over the 14 years we were together we always enjoyed a week at the timeshare every June along with family and friends. During today's call she offered me use of the timeshare for the first two days we have it, saying that she was going to be working that weekend and that she knows how much I've always enjoyed it. She also restated that she'll always see me as an important figure in her life, one who she hopes to keep in her life as a …. "friend"...… She also said that she hoped that next year I'd be able to be there at the same time as her and the OM. I almost couldn't believe my ears. She's jumping to a lot of conclusions if she's this certain her and the OM will still be an item come June 2021. Maybe they will be but I think those dopamine rushes associated with a novel lover can sure put one in a fantasyland.
I declined on the grounds that I'M her husband and had been her exclusive MAN since the time of our 3rd date. I didn't come into her life to be her friend. I still have my integrity and my self-respect.
So over the last 6 weeks she has told me she cares for my well-being, has thanked me for having been a good role model for her son and for having helped her through tough times, has told me she still "loves" me but just doesn't see us ever working, and did become visibly upset numerous times while I was preparing to move out, at one point visibly shaking, and called me one day very upset apologizing for having "done this to me". I'd rather she respected me, as she had for years, than feel sorry for me and think this would ever be acceptable to me.
Have a coaching session with Chuck on Monday. Should be interesting.
