This is Oceangrl! I'm here!

[Oceangl]

We have therapy virtually today. I went to my parents’ home last night, and my sister was there. They all have had enough with my H and the way he treats me. They want me to start seeing lawyers to gather information as they don’t see him changing and are tired of seeing my situation. I won’t make a decision for anyone else, but it did catch my attention to how awful this has been. In therapy today I am planning on just....laying it out. That I feel like he is sabotaging any chance of a connection, and that he has made a decision for the two of us that we will be celibate roommates.

It’s so odd because he has plans he made with me today to go get things for our puppy and the sink that needs to be fixed....like we are a normal couple. I think it’s just a product of his cake eating. And I’ve put up with it hoping I can nice him into loving me again as steve85 would say.

Pommy, right now I am preparing to have a consequence. He can choose one of those things or move out and one of us will start the D process. I will if I have to. I don’t think I can take the emotional neglect anymore. I don’t want a divorce. But right now how he treats me is killing my spirit. And I’ve been doing this for 6 years. The positive is, with all the DBing and therapy, I feel like I’ve become a pretty great version of myself. I believe my happiness can depend on me and I can fill my own holes.

I am scared of the future. But trying not to make a decision based on fear.

LH, the affair he was in is over, I don’t think he’s in a new one. I think he is committed to his new fantasy woman and life. I could always be wrong. But that’s what I’ve put together so far. For him, the grass on the other side is pretty green.