I still don’t quite understand why, given that I’ve been cheated on and just sort of tossed aside, but I still hope for reconciliation. I keep trying to remember my own faults as well, and I really do love my wife. I’ve come across a saying, “she is a good person that has done a bad thing”.
It's your brain trying to protect you. Your brain makes you believe that if you get your W back it will bring stability to your L which is just an illusion. With time and space you will realize that is what it's about. That is what's making you want to pursue. That's why so many people fail at DB because it takes a lot of self control. It's why it's so hard for people to eat healthy, quit smoking and drinking. Another illusion is your statement is you "love your wife". If you truly loved her you would honor her decision to move on and find happiness elsewhere. It's just a statement your telling yourself to get your sense of stability and control back. "She's a good person who did a bad thing". J she didn't keep the extra change gave to her accidentally by the cashier, she's having an affair with a married man while still married herself. Is a serial killer a good person who did a few bad things?
I'm just trying to paint a picture of what's really going on here right now. There is so much suffering on this board for the simple reason that people's brains have a difficult time accepting reality.
