Thx so much for saying I’m doing well Dnj. It really means a lot. This week for me feels very out of control.
H has made a surprise return home and has been here for one hour. In this short time H has completely ignored me ...like I literally don’t exist, had a convo with a friend on the phone where he was professing how hard this all is on him and how it’s not going quick enough, and implied that I’m exhibiting nasty behaviour and that he needs to check up on “something to see if I’ve been on”. He is now doing his excessive exercise with tv blaring. After hearing to much and allowing fear to enter and convince me that he’s somehow spying on me I turned on the tv and drowned the rest of the convo out.
I keep rubbing my eyes, but the disbelief just won’t go away. The want is strong to scream “dig deeper....look behind the surface...why have you done/are you doing all of these things...are you listening to yourself??????” I truly feel the hole is too deep for him to dig himself out.
I’m nervous, on edge and saddened with this stranger in my house.
Thx for the vent again, it helps...if even for a little bit. K.
