I felt like hawho did over that comment. Look up Patricia Papernow and stepfamilies. She has some good advice - similar to something KML once posted. The current theory is that the non biological parent is not supposed to be the disciplinarian. They need to “connect not correct” which she says takes years (not just months) And that authoritarian parenting by the step parent is toxic. Her book is expensive but you can get some good stuff from her website. None of this is easy on the kids. But with years of work it seems like stepfamilies can succeed. Just not easy. For me - family and marriage has always been important to me. It’s part of my culture and Luckily my fiancé’s as well. But many people forgo blending families because of the heartache and work that comes with it. I’m scared too and know that disgruntled children can really destroy a relationship like nothing else. It’s the statistics. So maybe if it’s something your both considering - really prepare.
