HIgh Levels of Acceptance

[sage]

CHL -- Thanks for the visit, dude!

Sage,

Don't worry too much about being in a funk. It happens. I suspect your fear is based upon recent posts and concern that things are going "too well". You know... that feeling you get when things are going well, you realize you're comfortable, then suddenly think you have to keep your guard up a little.

yes, I know that feeling quite well. Good reminder to me that sometimes my fears get stirred up by the GOOD stuff!

I'm not sure that avoiding answering or giving a false answer helped. Instead of "I'm afraid and sad. I'd like some reassurance from you.", why not "I'm having a bad day."? It lets him know you're having a bad day, but you still haven't gone into detail as to why that's the case. By avoiding answering, you're leaving it to him to decide what's wrong since he can't read your mind. But, there's good news.... he's male so he probably just thought "Hmmm. Sage is in a strange mood today.", and didn't think too much about it. (It's a guy thing.)

You're right on...h has told me that it concerns/upsets him when he knows that I'm upset but he doesn't know if it's something that he's done (or that I've ASSumed he's done) -- my answer to him should include that too, I think (that it's not him).

BTW, I saw the post the other day about training wheels - it reminded me of a post I made to you a couple of months ago. I think your fear is similar to the bicycle analogy - you get that rush of panic/fear when you suddenly realize the training wheels are off, and nobody's holding onto the bike.

Yes indeedy. I made sort of a similar comment to someone in the infidelity forum...she was the one who had the A and her h has been reactive of late...I suggested that maybe that occurs when he looks down and realizes that he's inched out on the tightrope and that there's no net below.



Sage