D17 told S19 last night what H had done. S19 said H was the man you looked up to, the one you wanted to be like and now he's a scumbag. S19 said "H doesn't want kids so why does he want us to live with him?" I won't say this but I think it's because he doesn't want me to have them. He was convinced I couldn't live without him, that I'd fall apart, he'd then get the kids and he'd have it all. I bought into his view of me but decided instead to prove him wrong. A year later and I'm still standing. Yes it's hard and I've got a ways to go but it turns out I don't need him as much as I thought I did. Shocking.
