I'm not 100% sure what you mean by being gentle. Being as nice as possible until he sends the D papers and then you go dark?
Lol yes that was sort of my plan. Not so much being as nice as possible, I just haven’t started any R talk.
Originally Posted by may22
I almost feel like making sure he is aware of what the consequences are of his decision so it isn't an enormous shock might be the gentler route... which would mean NOT going with him on this visit would actually be kinder as it will give him some better sense of what he is really doing. I think what you want to avoid is everything is hunky-dory till the day you get the papers and then his life plunges into the abyss-- I could imagine that being pretty difficult, especially knowing that he was responsible for all of it.
We have not had a R talk since two months ago he came by in the middle of the night out of nowhere and started to pick a fight with me. I would have to initiate such a talk to lay things out and tell him that 1) we won’t be friends after D 2)he won’t be welcomed here 3)everyone will know. (Leaving his parents to him). Part of my hesitation is I don’t know if I want to aggravate the situation without something written. Right now he’s being on the generous side, agreed to most of my demands financially (verbal). My fear is that he will take that away out of spite if I confront him with the reality.
