This is Oceangrl! I'm here!

[may22]

OG-- don't do anything because you think it might be attractive to him. Do what you want to do, for yourself.

He is not a whole person right now. To be frustrated because you took too long to heal, to not want to be reminded of his own failings-- that is not someone who can be a true partner. That is just selfish and wrong. (And I'll note here that this is one of my fears with my H, that he'll never be able to confront just how low he sank and the consequences of those actions. But I have decided that while I'll give him time on this, we absolutely will deal with it all. That is a boundary for me. And if it takes too long and I don't see meaningful change, I am out.)

Can you stop the R talks? It seems so useless to just have to listen to his same old garbage. That feeling of being able to give his speech for him... I know it and it is aggravating. Just step out of the cycle. Detach, don't worry about what he says. Focus on yourself.

I remember a couple of months ago you went to the beach, right? And found peace in yourself without needing to get it from him? (Sorry if I'm mixing you up with someone else)-- can you cultivate that feeling?