I am not sure who “The Coach” is but anyone who disowns his/her child for the sake of love would send me running the other way. That is not a sign of a healthy person.
It seems cold to me that the Doc told her s you are now the man of the house. It’s one thing to redirect a kid (there are many kind ways to do this) and quite another to displace him in that fashion and so openly. I would watch that relationship very closely because your girls are seeing it, too. Pieces of her treatment towards him are humiliating.
Maybe your daughter is still grieving the loss of her old life. My kids were noticeably withdrawn for a full year and a half after my ex moved out. They were 14 and 12. My older one had his sense of humor return about a year and a half after move out. My younger one just now is starting to laugh; two years 4 months post move out.
My ex remarried months after the divorce; he was divorced and remarried within 9 months! I was just waiting for the birth announcement; lol! In my sitch the lightening speed at which my ex moved forward drew my kids closer to me. It was clear they figured out he was cheating. I noticed they showed me more respect. I have overheard my older s saying to his cousin on my ex’s side that ex’s new wife is not his mother and that she’s not anyone to whom to pay attention. Ex did not set his new wife up for success. Ex even told my kids to keep her a secret from me! And when I finally learned he had married my kids told me they would keep the same secret for me. I told them that if and when I am ready to introduce them to someone I would never ask them to keep it a secret rather I would celebrate the person. And I made it clear marriages are not secrets to be kept. If I needed to hide it I would evaluate why that is. Just another way that ex did not set her up to be respected. Sad.
My older s has intimated it is awkward to suddenly have a new woman living with them and he comes here more now (at times he is supposed to be at ex’s) and I know this feels more like home to him. He says it just feels less comfortable with her there; again probably as it was all too speedy. My younger one does not discuss it which to me says it is hard for him. I think my ex never gave them time to adjust to any of this.
Yes, kids can adapt to lots of things but this does not mean it is necessary.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
