Thank you for your input. This has been the most confusing part for me.

My H asked me to meet a physical affection need (again, not sex) about 3 weeks ago after a counseling session. I agreed. But he still speaks of divorce and will not reciprocate any physical affection. 90% of the time, I am the only one initiating. We still sleep in the same bed. The mixed messages are tough.

So bottom line for this post, is that I am trying to figure out how Steve's advice fits for me.

me: 46 h: 49
m: 24 T: 27
DD1:20 DD2:17 DS:12
BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016
BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016
BD3: H wants a D 11/2019
Now: He is in the same house, but has filed for divorce.