One more week of online schooling left and it's over!! My kids are done with it and are not motivated at all to do anything.
The Doc's birthday is next week and once again I am struggling with what to get her. She flat out told me she doesn't want stuff. Although she did send a Amazon link for a mop that she wants. How romantic right??? What she values most is my assistance, acts of service is her thing. I already help her with anything she asks me to do which is about 1 or two things weekly so I have that covered. Last week we went out to her ranch and I spent about 7 hours helping her clear a fence line and dense bushes around some 200 yr oak tree. Tomorrow I am helping her move furniture into her new expanded office and putting 19 chairs together.
So I am at a loss. I do have one thing on my radar for her. A large Yeti cooler as she uses these old flimsy cooler bags to transport food out to the ranch for the weekend. She would never buy something like that for herself as she is too practical. That and the mop she wants...…….SMH.
My oldest has really been struggling this week, missing and crying for her mom every night. How she misses her etc. In the past this has only happened when she is super tired but for some reason this week it has happened every night. I honestly think she will be getting her period soon so that might be a part of it. She seems to be extra jacked up, fighting with her younger sister, and being kind of aggressive at times. So I think it's coming.
Nothing new with the Doc and I although I think she is starting to get a little antsy. At times I feel that she is fishing to understand what my timeline is for giving her a ring. Recently I have thought about it more and more. I am excited, nervous, a little scared, but feel I am coming closer to it. The biggest sticking point for me is the kids. My girls have to feel comfortable in a new home with the Doc's son. Right now when we all go over to her house you can tell they feel like guests. Which I guess is to be expected as they don't spend as much time there as I do. I am at her place now about 5 out of the 7 days a week when I don't have my girls. Her son is not good at give and take, has to get all the attention, dominate the situation, and will just go in another room if he doesn't want to participate in something. He just doesn't go with the flow. That makes my girls feel awkward, maybe because they feel like guests, not sure.. He can't be the boss baby and dominate the house my girls will be living in as well. I won't accept that and that is what I don't have a comfort level with yet. His patterns will have to change.
I have spoken to a friend of mind that blended families, one of which included an adopted child. She said blending families is hard and kids that are adopted are jacked up which makes it even harder. She just strongly suggested that me and the Doc would have to be on the same page with everything. Her husband brought an adopted child into their blended family and he was always favoring her, making excuses for her because she was adopted. She said it nearly tore their marriage a part. Obviously just one opinion but still something to be aware of. As we know, all kids are different.
Yesterday I was in her house alone (I'll spare you all the details as to why) but I found one of her old rings and measured it out so I have an idea of her size. She is still as sweet to me as she has always been. When we are together she always brings me my coffee in the mornings, when she goes out to the store she always brings me back something even if I tell her I don't need anything. Yesterday she stopped at the cigar shop and picked me up 3 cigars, I didn't ask her to she just did it. She does things like that all the time. She has been good to my girls as well, her and my mom are Facebook BFF's, and the interactions between her and the XW have been fine as well. The Doc told me that when she was sitting across the table from my XW at my oldests birthday party she wanted to tell her "Thank You" for turning me lose.
I have had some conversations with my girls as well about it, just that one day it could happen, moving to a different house, etc. I wanted to give them an opportunity to ask questions. They did ask some but overall seem to be ok with it. Seems like everyone is getting more comfortable with the situation.
I guess this is long enough so that's were I currently stand.
