Yes. Exactly. He worked and showed up. I was always ok with it. Until yesterday. In his monstering he rewrote our history. He said he worked and than came home and did all the parenting and cared for the house and the yard... After I picked up my jaw, I told him to ask our three kids, our neighbors, our family and our friends if they saw it that way. He whined that of course they would think he was only the money man. Huh? So apparently it’s true because he believes it is, not because it really is. It’s really good to know I wasn’t the only one who tried to be ‘the best wife ever’ by doing everything.
My H wanted to give me everything and more than half his salary monthly forever when he first left. I should have jumped on it. I hedged my bets that he’d come around and our marriage would be saved before he wised up about his financial offer. Nope.
How have I protected myself financially? I opened my own charge card and checking account right after he left. I gathered every bank account number and every password. Including his Venmo. I made copies of our income tax, his paystubs and our investment portfolio and other assets. I made copies of savings and checking accounts. So I’d have a baseline in case something disappears. I did a credit check to see if he opened charge cards. And recheck occasionally. I watch his cash withdrawals and withdrawal the same amount and put it away. I asked our financial advisor to alert me if he tries to do anything with our portfolio. I check our accounts regularly for movement. I saved emails where my H said he would be responsible for certain financial items. I met with a lawyer who looked over everything and told me what I can expect financially. When we close on the lake house next month I’m taking my half $ right away. I have my own personal financial planner that I’m using.
He could outsmart me if he suddenly has it in him. But I think it’s the best I can do without a divorce.
