When my husband started MLC I thought he was just overly stressed about work. So I was bending over backwards trying to find ways to relieve his stress while he was home. H made the $, i took care of everything else-home/kid/social related. In the world I ran, he had to only physically show up. I thought I was being the best wife. Pulling my weight. The more he withdrew, the more I took on, my expectations of him were 0. Backfilling and making excuses for him.
oh those were the days for me as well. My H had literally two things he had to do - work and showing up. Now he can only do one.
Now that he's gone, I actually feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I don't have to carry all his drama anymore (well minimally at least).
Originally Posted by MissnM
What I struggle with is discerning the appropriate response at the appropriate time. I panic because I don’t want to set him back in his journey or let him think he can cake eat.
Overall it seems like you are doing well and finding your groove on how to deal with your H. I think you don't need to sweat the small stuff. fumbling at a response or saying the right thing at a moment is not necessarily going to either pull him back or push him further on his MLC journey. Cake eating to me is more of a perspective...if you think you're being taking advantage of, draw that boundary, pull that wall up (like you have).
just curious - how have you protected yourself financially without a divorce? I'm kind of in the same boat but we have no written agreements yet. my H has changed from "I will give you everything" - to "even splitting" ...who knows what will come next if we keep dragging this out.
