This also really resonated for me, although I am the HL one in our relationship. My problem was turning to p**n and - it's hard to say but being addicted - and ignoring our SSM even when she wanted to talk about it. Even though I am HL, and probably because of my LT use of p**n, I also have not had a ton of partners or one-nighters and that has made it challenging for me to break out of the p**n cycle.
Do you think your porn addiction is why you had a passive attitude about being in a SSM? I mean, the disinterest in sex really started before you were even engaged, and you went ahead with the wedding. I guess I am one of those people who want to understand the "why". Of course finding the solution is important, but if you don't know why you did certain things, what's to stop you from repeating it?
Did you have many girlfriends or were there other long term relationships?
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I know this isn't totally in accordance with the rules, but I was coached to and have been trying to be as good a friend as possible right now.
Which rule would that be?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
