HIgh Levels of Acceptance

[sage]

Acorn! How are you?

Maybe more productive: does he know how he FELT when it happened (even if he doesn't know why..)? Is anything going on NOW that brings up similar feelings? That is what matters, avoiding creating similar feelings, though now they'd likely be from different causes because u 2 are so different, is the positive project to focus on to keep you marriage alive, healthy, and forward looking

Sigh. So darned smart and wise of you! I love how you captured this idea (which had not occurred to me in the slightest...). How to get at the knowledge, though? Ask him?

Hanging on to the why is hanging onto the vestiges of victim mode. You are not the victim. You chose to stay, you chose to work things out, AND you have suceeded. Let it go. Keeping the training wheels on too long keeps you from learning how to ride. (you KNOW i had to do at least one goofy analogy)

Tightrope, training wheels, all "storytelling" which is a tremendous way to communicate and get your message across.

Thanks for the visit!

Sage