Now, tell me, WTF does it matter why it happened? Neither of you are the same person anymore. The same conditions wouldn't cause it to happen again unless you go back to being those people.
Maybe more productive: does he know how he FELT when it happened (even if he doesn't know why..)? Is anything going on NOW that brings up similar feelings? That is what matters, avoiding creating similar feelings, though now they'd likely be from different causes because u 2 are so different, is the positive project to focus on to keep you marriage alive, healthy, and forward looking
Hanging on to the why is hanging onto the vestiges of victim mode. You are not the victim. You chose to stay, you chose to work things out, AND you have suceeded. Let it go. Keeping the training wheels on too long keeps you from learning how to ride. (you KNOW i had to do at least one goofy analogy)
