I just want to defend myself. I just want to argue my point of view. When he says something about me, especially when it's a complaint or criticism, I just feel like validating it is accepting it. And I have this need to "illuminate" where he is wrong.
That sounds like right-fighting. Would you rather be happy or right? Rarely do the two go together.
I understand what you are saying. I don't disagree. I just get confused sometimes. Can I be happy if he is blaming me all the time for his problems instead of taking accountability? That's what I've got to remember validation is not agreement. It doesn't mean I am agreeing with his point of view. This is something I am working on.
me: 46 h: 49 m: 24 T: 27 DD1:20 DD2:17 DS:12 BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016 BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016 BD3: H wants a D 11/2019 Now: He is in the same house, but has filed for divorce.
