Core ~ Like everyone here I'm doing my best. I am ready to play the card because I am increasingly left with no choice. I recognize with anxiety there is a fallacy that I can DO something that will fix things. In reality, my situation is a sh**show. My kids are caught in the middle and it's horrible for everybody. But I have to press on and do the best I can, knowing full well that if I get 50-50 custody or we resolve the house issue or support is established, none of those things are going to fix things magically. Regardless of circumstances, today is a day I am alive and it's up to me if I want to be happy or not.
I'm not doing all that great, honestly, but I started on a mild SSRI a couple months ago that also helps with anxiety and it has done wonders for me. I don't feel nauseous, I don't feel panicky, I'm able to refocus. I don't think differently, but the thoughts don't trigger the same levels of panic and anxiety. Long-term I want to wrangle this myself through therapy, but I decided I needed some help. I'm living alone, during a quarantine, in a medium-to-high conflict divorce, hemorrhaging money, not knowing where my life is going to end up even in the next 3 months. It's reasonable that I would be struggling.
I restarted lifting weights in my garage, I do some yoga videos. But to be honest, I just have a lot of time and not much to do. I built an outdoor chair in my garage last weekend. I veg out.
I'm trying to make sure to do one thing each day that feels good. Today I'm going to order some new photos of my kids - I have a pin-up board in my kitchen and want to replace older photos with fresh ones. That will feel good.
