Almost 5 weeks after D-Day

[ovrrnbw]

Bob,

it is hard to kick someone out of house who hasn't paid rent in months. Just because the house is hers doesn't mean she can magically uproot you overnight. I'm posting this for others who are reading more than you. On the other hand, you knew you were going to go anyways so why delay the inevitable? And she told you to take whatever time you needed, so it wasn't like she was rushing you.

I felt nauseous and wondered why I agreed to this arrangement, which struck me as a violation of boundaries on many levels

Ultimately, you were moving out eventually anyways from what I've read, so don't sweat it. You knew this would happen, right? Think of it as ripping of the bandaid. You got it all over with quick. The best thing you can do is be healthy, wealthy, and wise moving forward. Don't bother her at all, let her new fantastic OM be the piece of trash that he is and let her feel how wrong what she is doing really is. If you intrude and point fingers then she has you to blame, don't make yourself a target.

And now that you're out of there, it's time to move forward with your life. Do your best to mourn the loss of this marriage, don't deny the feelings, but don't overindulge either. Accept it, then go GAL and do some things to make your day better.

Steve has great advice in regards to the dog. Do not use the dog as an excuse to snoop or stay attached to her.

My W says that it just kind of happened involuntarily and suddenly, about half a month after she decided that she wanted out of our marriage. Somewhat understandable, in retrospect we had lost a great deal of the intimacy required to sustain a relationship, something that had gone on a little too long without my sensing how bad it had gotten. Wish I could go back.

Now that is an industrial size load of crap if I've ever seen one. All the things she is doing with the OM, she could have done with you.

Again, men and women have a really hard time beings "friends". It just doesn't work. Look at all the OM in me, Steve's, AS's, your situation. Just "friends". F that. Be the man, be the strong individual you are. Don't give in to BS. Focus on Bob, don't focus on the impotent jerk or the WW. Now is the time to grow.