In this particular case the pairing may have some legs (outcome 3). I know the OM very well. I had considered him a friend until recently. He lost his wife to cancer about a year ago just two weeks shy of their 50th wedding anniversary. Since that time my W and myself had been part of his support as he grieved the loss of his spouse. Fearing he was lonely we would often include him in many of our activities. The three of us would often go out for dinner. My W and him have worked closely with one another for about a year and a half as part of a three person musical group that performs locally. The W has always had a deep admiration for him for the person he is and has always enjoyed working with him as well as enjoying his company. Of course this was innocent and platonic and I never could have dreamed her interest in him could have ever been romantic. In fact we had been actively trying to set him up with people because he was complaining of loneliness and didn't appear to have lost interest in getting out there in the wake of his wife's passing. My W says that it just kind of happened involuntarily and suddenly, about half a month after she decided that she wanted out of our marriage.
That sounds a lot like the OM my XW was involved with after BD. His wife didn't die, but she did leave him and shacked up with his brother. He was a coworker of my XW and I knew him beforehand and he seemed like a nice enough guy. We even had him over to our house a few times. My XW was there for him as he grieved the loss of his W. Same thing- enjoyed his company, deep respect, blah blah blah. It became more than friends. Now she barely talks to him. He lost his job years ago and was never motivated to find another. She got really tired of all his neediness. He finally rented out his house because he couldn't afford it and couldn't find a buyer, and moved into a small camper on a deer lease somewhere.
Things may seem peachy for her and OM now but 6 months or a year from now who knows.
