Learning, Growing, Healing

[Brubeck]

Hey Cali - good to see you're alive & kicking. That's a lot to process, whoah. However, there are some rare stories about MLCers coming out on to the other side, I guess you ExW has become one of them. Not easy for her to face you and own up.

As much as I would like to say I have healed and moved on from Exw I have acknowledged that there will always be a part of me who loves her, the one who had not entered into MLC.

I've kept a similar feeling - I looked at it that I was thankful and happy to have good memories of my marriage. I've considered that my ExW remembers nothing good - as part of her MLC memory purge - in order to make me the villain of her life. I still care about the woman I knew before she went into the tunnel to die of MLC.

That said I also know deep down a reconciliation would force me to open up alot of old boxes that I had to seal up and ship off to GoodWill, I just do not feel it would be healthy for me to have to deal with all that stuff again. I am not afraid of entering into a relationship and now know I still have some things/issues to work through but if I had to work through all the old stuff with Exw I know I would lose alot of the work I have done to this point ... in a way I just feel it would be moving to far backward and I just do not want to entertain that.

Yikes, this 2x4 stings a lot - but I'm glad to read it, nonetheless. I'm afraid this speaks for me too, but I hadn't articulated this as well as you did. Great goodwill metaphor to encapsulate it all.