It's not nearly as hopeless as it may seem. There are three possible outcomes:
1. WAS explores new life for a while, finds it's not all sunshine and rainbows, eventually reconciles with LBS.
2. Same as above, but LBS has moved on and doesn't want to reconcile anymore.
3. WAS rides into the sunset happy as can be.
Thanks for the reply AS,
In this particular case the pairing may have some legs (outcome 3). I know the OM very well. I had considered him a friend until recently. He lost his wife to cancer about a year ago just two weeks shy of their 50th wedding anniversary. Since that time my W and myself had been part of his support as he grieved the loss of his spouse. Fearing he was lonely we would often include him in many of our activities. The three of us would often go out for dinner. My W and him have worked closely with one another for about a year and a half as part of a three person musical group that performs locally. The W has always had a deep admiration for him for the person he is and has always enjoyed working with him as well as enjoying his company. Of course this was innocent and platonic and I never could have dreamed her interest in him could have ever been romantic. In fact we had been actively trying to set him up with people because he was complaining of loneliness and didn't appear to have lost interest in getting out there in the wake of his wife's passing. My W says that it just kind of happened involuntarily and suddenly, about half a month after she decided that she wanted out of our marriage. Somewhat understandable, in retrospect we had lost a great deal of the intimacy required to sustain a relationship, something that had gone on a little too long without my sensing how bad it had gotten. Wish I could go back.
She's 54 and he's about to turn 72. Maybe the age differential shouldn't surprise me as much as it has. The only possible traits of his that I can see wearing on her nerves over time is what I had detected as a very unattractive neediness. He has also had health issues, such as prostate cancer, which have impacted certain functions but her attachment to him seems both emotional as well as physical.
