WOW my friends...thank you so much for the birthday wishes! pam, PIB, CHL (coming out of the woodwork!), Cathy, Minnie, Anney (how ARE you doing?), your thoughtfulness means so much!
I had a great birthday yesterday...h made it so! Started with a great wakeup from him, then emails and calls during the day. I met him after his class and we went for drinks and dinner. h ordered us both cocktails (I LOVE it when he orders for me...I don't know why!) -- special champagne cocktails. He offered up two toasts -- one to my general wonderfulness (he was a bit more descriptive than that) and the other to note that he has now known me for half of his life...but that I am his whole life to him. My h truly has a wonderful way with words...I don't know how I missed that for as long as I did.
Dinner was great...wonderful food AND company. At home he had two beautiful cards for me and a gift ( a RedSox jersey that I have been mentioning every time we watch them play! The man can get the hint!).
All in all a perfect day with my wonderful h. And this is how spoiled I am -- we actually have ANOTHER bday planned for after I'm out of school....
I am lucky I am grateful I am happy!
Sage
PS No lie...your wonderful wishes made me feel very cared about
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
The birthday celebration continues just awesome mentions from h about my "birthday season"
Was in class all day yesterday (friday) and all day today, too. It's a bummer because it looks like a beautiful day out there...but it's ok, too, because I'm racking up the credits! Must get to 7/9 and then I'm out of school for the rest of the summer!
Went to a movie last night (Stepford Wives -- funny -- I'd give it a B-) and then out for chinese food. Thursday I met h after class...he seemed drained, off, itchy butt, something? I don't know if he had something on his mind..I asked him offhandedly if he was feeling ok and he said "yes" but then gave me "are you" answer (with mild what, irritation?) that used to be so much more present...a good sign to Sage to back off!
since then he really seems to be trying hard to let me know he loves me, cares, is present, etc. I appreciate that so much but hope that my asking about how he was feeling wasn't interpreted by him as him needing to do more, etc...I worry that he'll wear himself out trying to be "on" for me....not what I want at all...It's just easier, less scary for me when I know if he's feeling as though he needs to back off a bit.
anyway, I'm babbling! Just trying to say that h doesn't have to always be up...and he doesn't even have to say "I need some space (whatever)"...need to stop personalizing!
Gotta run.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Thanks for the bday wishes AND the gentle reminder about taking it easy, Slowly!
*********** Had a great rest of the weekend with h. Watched his baseball team WIN yesterday (yeehah!) in the beautiful weather and sunshine. Came home and worked on a paper due for class today (done -- and not too badly if I say so myself!). Last night h and I went to the Red Sox game -- it was a fun time -- I love going to games with him.
I love my cainercast for the week: Drop the drama. Abandon the old plan. Forget the object of fascination that has been taking up so much of your time lately. If it really is relevant, it will automatically restore itself to a position of prominence on your agenda before too long. Most likely though, it is merely taking up valuable space on a schedule that deserves to be revamped and revived in the light of a new cosmic climate. Pluto's opposition to your ruler is challenging but encouraging. Suddenly you have real power to succeed. So you'd better focus on the kind of success that's worth having.
it kind of mirrors my mood of late -- really feeling ready to abandon my thoughts and fears based on what's happened in the past and eager to move forward with a m. that is totally optimistic and joyful and grounded in love, passion, friendship, commitment, etc. h has been so loving -- I remind myself over and over and over again how lucky I am to have this giving man in my life! the woman who loves WORDS hears them all the time now --
He told me yesterday he's in awe of how lucky he is to have me love him. I know what he means, I think...and I hope to let him know again and again that loving him is exactly what I want to do.
Should be a good but busy week -- lots of school work (but it's winding down! 3 weeks! yahoo!)
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Hi Sage - I love what H had to say to you - direct words from the heart are to be treasured, aren't they?
Quote: He told me yesterday he's in awe of how lucky he is to have me love him. I know what he means, I think...and I hope to let him know again and again that loving him is exactly what I want to do.
This is definitely one to look back on. Enjoy. Slowly.
Was feeling crabby last night into this AM. Triggering event last night was totally lame -- hairdresser got my appt wrong and I had to reschedule for the second time -- weeks from now! You would not believe the "weight of the world" response my mind and body had over this unbelievably trivial thing! Then I started moping around...too much work to do, things messy at home, etc.
H came home from school and was positively charming -- bouncy, excited to see me, yelled at the top of his lungs "I want a date with you!", asked about plans for the weekend, etc. I love his energy and enthusiasm for me, for us.
Even this am I was dragging...had to call stylist back (she was so gracious on the phone!), was bemoaning the schoolwork I had to do for tonight (almost done just a few hours later)...I guess it kind of hit me a bit..it IS all this lame-o stuff but it's also that I wrote a post for someone in Infidelity that had me revisiting so much stuff -- and just reminded me how I still wish I understood more about what happened, and why.
Last night I had a dream. I dreamed that my h moved out because he didn't like the kind of Blue Cheese that I bought. In the dream he says "I can understand you getting this somewhat wrong but to buy brand XYZ? What the heck were you thinking?"
He packs. He leaves.
Here's the kicker...my h doesn't even LIKE blue cheese -- in fact, he doesn't like most cheeses but as he said this AM -- blue cheese would probably be the last one he'd eat.
So...what the heck is my psyche trying to say?
My ASSumption -- that there WAS in fact no practical, rational reason for the time period when h was involved with ow. That the stuff he said to me then, his behavior toward me, towards us, in the midst of the EA was akin to him leaving over blue cheese...just as weird and senseless and irrational.
I'm not saying that h didn't have some valid beefs about our r but so much of what was said, his reactions to me during that time were off the charts.
Anyway...I'm putting my psyche's message in the positive category...I have info on what makes my m tick now...more than ever...and I'm doing my best, and h is doing his best, to keep the learning process moving along, too...Imagining my m as a committed,loving, faithful, awesome partnership! 'cause that's the way it feels!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I met him after his class and we went for drinks and dinner. h ordered us both cocktails (I LOVE it when he orders for me...I don't know why!) -- special champagne cocktails. He offered up two toasts -- one to my general wonderfulness (he was a bit more descriptive than that) 
