Steve - Thank you. Your words are spot on - I am deep in fear. I agree. I am just getting into an Olympic sized pool of pain and i know I have to swim it - but right now I just don't want to. I have no words any more, I just want to fold up and give up. I am sorry for the 'poor me' routine. I am going to let myself have today to cry and shake off the last remnants of denial that this is even happening. Know that I am reading the thread, I am listening. I am letting it lay on my brain, it will sink in.
Misty, I like your analogy of the pool of pain! So good. Because you have too choices. Swim through it and come out better on the other end. Or give up and drown.
I am not sure if you are religious at all but have you ever read the book of Job in the Bible? Job went through incredible loss and pain. And he had people around him telling to curse God and die. But Job persevered, even when there were times when he did feel like giving up. And he came out the other end bigger and better for it! Sometimes we get to a place in life where we have quit growing and improving. And then something comes along to force us to do that. I think you are there now. Swim or sink. I think you will feel better about yourself and have no regrets if you commit to swimming!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
