There are two Gerdas. One is healed, ready for a new life. And one is still petrified of... ?
Which wolf are you feeding?
Fear is self reinforcing. Find that feedback and break it.
It’s good you see the recreation of your childhood fear and your response of turning to stone so as to not face it. Gerda, step out of the closet!
Yes the headaches, lack of sleep; like the old days; is not helping.
Originally Posted by Gerda
I always felt terrified of the fighting, was always looking for ways to make everyone calm, to get the house clean, to be sure no one would explode.
What happened during the fighting? What happened after the fighting?
Fear hides in the shadows, in our imagination/creation. Yes, scared and worried about fighting. Because....
Dig here. Rationalize here. Your fear paralyzes you. Turns you to stone. The fighting is only a part of it.
And perhaps your fear of conflict gets in your own way. We are in a fight with our own emotions. Mental assertiveness. Sword and shield. Not the time to turn to stone and hide.
Originally Posted by Gerda
I do not think the peace you have is possible for people like us, with younger kids and a spouse driven to hurt and control us. There is never any chance for lasting peace. I know you will say differently.
What’s your definition of peace?
Fear is in your mind. So is peace. Neither is external.
Much love and hugs.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
