I hear you...If I say this "I was too busy. From now on you are going to have to make your own food"... he will not appreciate that and will consider that very confrontational. If what I say does not please him, or irritates him in the least, he makes a point to get in my face and remind me that he is on razor edge of walking out that door. He knows that terrifies me. I don't know what to do to get over that. I am afraid to not make him dinner. Clearly, I have work to do on myself.
These situations rarely resolve while living under the same roof. So please accept that separation is likely, and even necessary before things may start to improve. I am not saying to kick him out, but I am saying the sooner you accept that S will probably happen then the sooner you can work on your fear of that. You need to get to the point where if this happens: "he makes a point to get in my face and remind me that he is on razor edge of walking out that door" then your response is "I would rather you stay and work on the M, but I understand that leaving is what you want and if that's the case, then you should leave." You do not say this in an angry tone, but rather, a loving but firm tone. If it's what he wants then don't try to force him to stay. WAS's feel trapped by their LBS. You have to "open the cage door". It's still his choice whether to leave the cage or not, you do not make that choice for him. You just open the door so that he knows he can choose for himself.
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He is VERY ANGRY right now. It comes out of every pore in his face. scary angry.
Do you have any concerns that he may become physically abusive? Because if so, then you need to take action ASAP. This is a red flag that he may be unstable.
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I don't know if its due to all the testosterone shots he is taking - or is this is an MLC thing?
Is he taking test as therapy through a doctor, or illegally? TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) is a pretty low dosage. But if he's taking it illegally for bodybuilding or whatever, and he doesn't know what he's doing, then he could be going through "roid rage" which is uncontrollable anger and even violence.
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He very much enjoys hurting me. He will say cruel things and will openly smile when I breakdown and cry. When I see his possessed face, I get afraid, because I know what is coming, if its on, he will not relent. He is only satisfied once I am shaking / weeping and apologizing and telling him I will do better in the future. [b]Is this normal for a WAS/MLC???
Woah. How long has this been going on? Just since BD? Because please understand- you are being abused. This is a blatant example of emotional abuse.
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I am ecstatic that he is doing counseling, but confused b/c he doesn't even enjoy talking to me. Can you offer some advice on this - its very confusing for me.
He's more than likely doing it to check off his list of "things I tried to save the marriage but that only proved it really was over". Michele's counselors are great though, so listen to him/ her and implement whatever advice they offer. I doubt it'll result in any change in your H short-term so don't have any expectations. But do keep going.
