Limbo over, now separated but in lockdown (part 3)

[Pommy99]

P,

I think there is a lot of things going on here. You guys are trying jump back in too fast. You took him back too easy. If you don't make him work and earn it he will just walk again down the road. You are pressuring him. You are listening to his words and not his actions. He can't 100% guarantee you he's never going to walk again.

I don't think you messed it up I just don't think he's completely committed.

We had only got as far as discussing whether it was the right thing to do, i hadn’t welcomed him back with open arms. I’d laid out what I felt about him working in the city and what wouldn’t work for me long term. He even said to D16 the following day that he didn’t know when he would go back to the city but it would need to work for me as well.

He is putting pressure on himself to be 100% sure he won’t walk again and I’ve said we need to work towards that. If everything felt perfect now we wouldn’t be in this situation. I guess I did put pressure on at the weekend. I feel like he wants to be at the finish line before he’s crossed the start line, and this frustrates me so I was trying to pressure him to accept we are at the start line and a good starting point is getting on the same page about being willing to try.

What do I do next? Back off or remain quietly visible on the sideline? He is depressed and alone in lockdown. He says it is killing him as much as it is killing me that he can’t get over this blocker and that’s why he realised he needed IC. He says he desperately wants to feel the right things but something isn’t right. I don’t want to alienate him when he has nothing else, but maybe it’s what I have to do?