I'm livid on the inside. He is totally temp checking me instead of being direct. He attempted the conversation yet again and finally told me that he recently received a job offer in another state. He tried very hard to get me to weigh in, but I redirected it on him and asked what he thought. He thought this offer wouldn't pan out, since they are looking for someone now and we own our home. However he wanted to theoretically discuss it if he gets another offer at a better time. He still has not mentioned reconciliation, so, going with his idea to divorce, I asked what that would look like for him. He said he wasn't sure. I happen to have a friend that lives in our state and has teenage sons in that state, so I shared their custody arrangement, which is two months in the summer and alternating breaks/holidays. He said he didn't like that and dropped it. Then he started talking about me pursuing my independence, listing off hobbies, job opportunities, seeing someone. Yeah. Ok, buddy. I think he has gotten used to me being loyal to a fault. It's bullshit. Can we cuss here? Haha. If he's trying to test my commitment without wanting to be with me, he's a POS. (I really wouldn't expect this of him. He's typically not like that, but people in overwhelming circumstances act dumb all the time.) If he's trying to test my commitment, wants to be with me, but is too afraid to say so, he's not a POS but not what I want. He can be afraid of rejection or failing, but I'm worth the risk. I'm worth being brave for. I guess it's that I'm mad he's not being upfront and honest whatever it is that he's doing. Of course, I will process this on my own and let my emotions settle before doing anything. I will act as if.
