Thank you DnJ. It's been a nice day. Kids made salmon lunch for me, great card with sweet messages and a thoughful gift. D20 likes to shop for 2nd hand clothes, and S22 wanted to add to his VHS collection, so off to the 2nd hand store we went. I found a pair of designer jeans that fit me perfectly for $6.98. D20 found a sweater for a buck more. Nothing for S22, but a nice time out together.
Great weekend all around. Things are relaxing here a bit, so Happy hour on Friday with a friend I haven't see in about 6 weeks, and Saturday night dinner in with another friend. I'll spend a bit of time planning a trip to another state to see family in June to celebrate S22 graduation.
I remind myself I have a nice, easy, joyful life.
But....there seems to always be a but, doesn't there?
I find myself filled with thoughts about H more regularly. Sometimes I want to just tell him to come home. I believe he would in a heart beat.
But, I realize he needs to do the work first. Then we need to do some work. I get that if we want to have another go at it, a lot of the work would come after we decide to live together again, and then it's still no guarantee. He also needs to do a lot of work with D20. And lots of healing needs to take place. So much. It's daunting even to me. I can't imagine how daunting it must be to H.
It's easy to start taking leaps into the future. I frequently have to reign my thoughts in, regroup, pray, and get on with life. I seem to have to readjust more frequently lately. Nothing in the future is guaranteed. So, I need to remind myself to just take one day at a time and not worry about what might be.
Maybe it's just one of those valleys that are necessary to traverse on the path to a future.
Marathon, not a sprint. I think I started running the marathon too fast. I forgot to pace myself. I think it's time to walk my marathon for while.
