I think you need lay aside the thoughts of being her friend, or seeing it as a channel of restoring the relationship. How can you be a friend to someone who rejects you? Think about it. Have you ever pursued a person to be friends, when that person wanted nothing to do with you? You cannot be friends with someone who hates you and uses every opportunity to make digs and throw hurtful remarks in your face. You have to show self respect, and not follow her around when she's speaking badly, giving you the cold shoulder, etc. You tried being friendly, in times past, and she reacted even worse. Therefore, time & space is needed before she will be ready to conduct herself in a calm, respectable manner. If she heals from the bitterness she holds in her heart, then perhaps it will be possible to become friends, but I think it will take her a long time to let go of her anger.
I don't think you'll see change in her for a couple of years, if she is not in therapy trying to heal. I realize 6 months feels forever to you, but by all accounts.....she is not processing her thoughts/feelings in a healthy way. She continues to verbally bash you, and it gets her nowhere. She may never get beyond this point with you, b/c she wants you to hurt and letting go of her anger would be like letting you escape pain free.
Sandi,
What do you mean by this? Can you explain it in more detail?
