MLC circus

[MissnM]

Good morning

Went up to lake house on Monday to meet with a new realtor, get the dock put in and the yard and house spruced up. I wanted it on the market ASAP. The window for using our lake home in our area is very small. So the selling window is even smaller. H was suppose to contact the realtor and take care of all this. I gave him the realtor info end of February. I waited. And waited. And True to MLC form he did not do it.

I do not contact my H. I reply with short, kind responses to his reaching out. I did have to text him Tuesday that I met with realtor, the price we decided on and that he needed to sign paperwork ASAP.

He responded with ‘thank you for taking care of this. I’ve been so busy with work’ (his MLC go-to excuse for not moving forward with any of the adult things he’s promised or has been responsible for the last 3 years)
I simply replied ‘I appreciate how hard you work. I’m sure it’s been very difficult with covid’ Which he responded ‘I’m sure being at lake house was very difficult and I know you worked your butt off to get it ready to sell. I appreciate it’ I text ‘thank you’ He signed the paperwork immediately. Thank goodness for online signing. He text questions and I simply text back that he should contact the realtor with any questions.

It went on the market Yesterday. We received a full price offer this morning with, so far, 5 other showings today. Great news.

We bought this home 6 years ago. It was my idea. I thought it would be a good investment, a relaxing place for H to go (he was a big fisherman until MLC-he never once fished at our lake home and our son is a big fisherman- so has never fished with him)(I thought his withdrawal behavior was job stress related and this place would help-now I know MLC) a bonding place for our adult children and eventually grandchildren to gather, couples weekends (my H loved socializing and partying and I planned many successful ones up there) and a place I could flex my DIY muscle/ project. At the time of looking to buy, H said he didn’t want the stress of it. I made him a promise that I would be 100% responsible for the upkeep. I kept that promise. I fully renovated it and furnished it all by myself. I was adamant not to ask for his help because of my promise. I would work on plumbing and he would cook gourmet meals(his new MLC passion) while we were together up there. I thought it was a win win.

He used the lake home as one of the reasons he left me.

H said it had to be sold before we could file for D. It lost its shine for me. I didn’t want any part of it anymore. I finished the renovations enough to sell it. I put him in charge of dealing with realtor. I waited. And waited. And the window got really small. I finally forced a realtor on him and made him do the paperwork, etc. H contacts me with the price that was decided. It was higher than I thought, but went with because H said it’s what the realtor chose. It didn’t sell. The price was too high. The selling window closed. I was angry with the realtor and told him so. He informed me that he had recommended a lower price to my H initially and my H insisted on the higher price. WTF? I can’t help but feel H sabotaged the sale of our lake home last year.

I feel a sense of relief today that it may be sold (I don’t have to keep up with the maintenance anymore) and sadness because it’s one more part of our really great, old life gone.

When H text me this morning ‘we have a full price offer..blah,blah,blah.’ I think he wanted to converse with his old wife. I responded as short and sterile as possible, ie. like the checkout girl would.

Since BD1 he’s monstered very little. Mostly very kind and generous. And would agonize over how much I was hurting. (Didn’t stop him from continuing to lie, cheat and hurt me more) Since BD2 he’s been over the top kind, respectful, generous and walking on eggshells with me. (Still seeing OW, though) (and I don’t believe anything he says and 50% of what he does now that I know about MLC) While I am grateful that I don’t have a mean vindictive H, it makes it hard to shut myself off to him. To move on.
I don’t have the unrelenting need to reach out to him anymore like I did pre BD2. Something in me switched when I found out about OW. That my honest H was in fact a liar. That I was totally blind to what was really happening. It changed me.

But at moments like this I’m reminded of and greatly feel the loss of my old H, our old life. I am so sad not to have him to share this success with. My project/renovations and investment idea is paying off greatly. We will see a big profit. I did it. And he should be here patting me on the back like I did for him during all his job success’s.

Pity party, First world problem rant over. I know my blessings. I’ll continue to count them.