He had his appt with the DB counselor this morning
One of Michele's counselors? Or do you mean MC or IC? Most counselors are not trained in DB'ing techniques and in fact are little more than divorce facilitators.
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I had my appt with my DB counselor, he wants me to get ready for when he walks out/leaves
It is highly unusual for reconciling (with a WAS) to happen while under the same roof. Separation isn't the end of things, sometimes it's the beginning of the rebuilding process. So try not to be afraid of it.
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Advice on this - please: Generally, I just leave him alone: to his work during the day, while he works out for 2 hours I make his special vegetarian dinners (outside of the kids food), and then he plays video games at night. I do come in for a 15 min talk in the evening - just to connect - about the day, nothing marriage related. I can tell after 15 mins he is done with me, so I go. He then drinks, and gets on the computer.
My first advice is to drop all expectations. Nothing you say or do right now is going to be the magic bullet that puts everything "back to normal". Once a spouse goes WAS, there is no easy path back. It's a long, looooong hard road.
Second, as Steve said, he's fired you as wife. He doesn't want you right now. He may even be repulsed by your presence. You can do things for him like make his meals and do his laundry and ironically he may very well resent you for it. So you should taper off on your "wife" duties. Focus on you and the kids and treat him like a stranger living in your house. Be cordial but don't go out of your way to talk to him. Let him make his own "special" meals and do his laundry and pick up after himself.
To be real with you right now, he sounds like an entitled a-hole if he is spending two hours a night working out and expecting you to make meals for him so that he can quickly eat and then run off to play video games. Is he 12????
