But I also need to press forward to dig out of the current circumstances. My anxiety tends to fix me in my present state. I understand "the illusion of action" but in my case that is a rule meant to broken and I intend to drive things towards conclusion, all while enjoying my life along the journey.
Just a word of caution here, U. This "conclusion" you are driving toward is a legal one, not an IRL forever one. As long as you have 3 young kids together, you are going to have to figure out a way to constructively communicate with your W for the foreseeable future, D or no D. That's why I wrote about being calm, detaching, not letting anxiety or fear dictate how you interact. This isn't over as long as you are coparenting - and it would be wise to begin preparing for what comes next.
Originally Posted by Unchien
I'm pretty sure 2 years from now I will look back and be thankful for this life-changing experience.
I always find it interesting the way people view life. I see things completely different than this - but that's ok, everyone has a different perspective. IMO I dont think much about the future anymore, aside from practical things or overall personal life goals I want to achieve (got a great list going, I recommend this highly to anyone). Maybe it's also because every anxious and panicked thought I had about the future a year and a half ago did not come true whatsoever, and I am finding out what a waste of my time and energy that was lol.
Originally Posted by unchien
Although I am an anxious wreck much of the time I am also much happier in ways than I have ever been at any point in my life.
I am glad you are finding yourself happier - that is good news. I would recommend exploring ways to reduce your anxiety with IC, though. I'm working at this and will probably continue to work at this for the rest of my life.
Also, one more thing. IMO fade is right. Stop giving so much power to those letters and the car incident. They happened, you cant change that. You didnt hurt anyone, your kids are fine. Letting those things have power over you serves no purpose other than to keep your anxiety rooted in place.
