HIgh Levels of Acceptance

[sage]

Hi Deb,

I sure have a question though---How do/did you get your H to ask you out on dates? that's one of my dreams! was he always like that? I can't remember if I asked you before, but were you 2 separated at one time? How long have you been dbing?

let's see...no, was he always like that? well, he was probably like that in the beginning and then my overeagerness and desire for control probably squashed his initiative but now he's back to doing it. How did we get back there? well...probably a bunch of things...I stopped trying to control every aspect of our lives (including our dates!), I showed genuine enthusiasm for whatever he suggested when he DID suggest something, and I would suggest things that would appeal to his interests and desires not just mine.

No, we have never separated (knock wood). I've been DB'ing since 12/02 and was actually pretty quickly able to see real progress by dropping the rope, the need for control, the overanxiousness, etc.

I got a lot out of your thoughts on giving up the "shoulds"...I've tried to work on that for my H since I started dbing, and I feel like that is part of what caused problems for me/us.....thanks as always for your inspiration.
Deb

well..thanks for the kind words.

Dropping the shoulds and the expectations has been a tremendous boost for me and my m. I'm sure h appreciates it too!

Sage