His happy ever after just doesn't matter in the long term, not to you anyway. Anytime you start to get caught up in that thinking and dwelling in it, that should be the cue its time to challenge the thought. Tell yourself its not productive and then shift focus onto yourself.
I do try to turn it around and focus on my kids or me. Not giving up but dang this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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Its not effective to try and not think about it either, that's still putting the focus in the wrong place, on him. If someone tells you "don't think about a giant pink elephant", that's what you will do. You want to fill your time and life with other activities (GAL) that you enjoy so it leaves less room for that type of thinking to consume you.
If you're spending your time building up and improving your own life, how his turns out will be of no importance.
Refusing to whine here. Nope. Not going to do it. After a year of H being gone I finally found something I really want to do. I want to foster a cat or kitten. I'm supposed to have my orientation via Zoom this week and while I don't want to get my hopes up I am excited.
I have other things I want to do but right now I'm pretty busy with work and kids.
