Everything you posted is a good start. However, until you can check your impulses around him, then you still have a lot of work to do.

Think of "Oh, ok" as being your default response. He comes over Wednesday and says: "I am giving the boat away." Your response. "Oh, ok." "OW and I road the motorcycle on Saturday because it was so nice out." "Oh, ok." "I want to go skydiving without a parachute!" "Oh, ok."

You might be freaking out inside. You might have a million emotions going on in your head. But "Oh, ok." in a deadpan manner is the outward reaction.

Eventually, the deadened emotions will follow suit with the outward. When I got really good about not reacting to my W's words and deeds, it really had profound effect on me. I started sleeping better. Eating better. Realizing there was light at the end of the tunnel. Etc.And it started to have an effect on her too. She got curious as to why I was reacting and responding differently.

I've told this story before. But one day we were out and we decided to run through a drive-thru to get lunch. I had started to get really good at all of the above with her, but she still wasn't sure if she wanted to stay or go. Anyway while we were waiting to order, she said something and then made a silly noise. Pre-BD this would have annoyed me and I would have lashed out about it even if in a mild way. I kind of chuckled to myself about the noise. And then kind of under my breath, as if she wasn't even there and I was hearing something like that on the radio, I repeated it a couple of times, and chuckled.

She literally stopped. Turned to me, looked deep into my eyes and said: "Who are you?" I just chuckled again and smiled back. Not reacting like you used to, responding to him differently, can have a huge impact.

Remember, "Oh, ok." But not in a sarcastic or dismissive way. Cheerfully. Upbeat. In a "thanks for sharing that with me" way! Even if it is something that later you are cringing about (like the examples I gave above).

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018