The things that make obvious sense to me moving her out of the bedroom (which I haven't decided on yet. If it comes up again I won't stop as before.) Asking her to leave. I've already stated that I think this is not beneficial to me short or long term. Cutting her off finaincly. This actual isn't an option as there isn't a situation where I support her any more then she supports me. The bills are split and the extra I bring in goes to emergency accounts and vacation funds. I reviewed the budget where she would pay for her share and me mine and she would have even more money to herself as I wouldn't expect her to pay half of my car payment anymore. You have to understand that our budget has been based on a combined income not singular incomes our entire lives. We didn't live or work independently ever. I have already been working on accepting this and moving past some of my grief which I believe has to be the first step to detachment. I rarely even in our marriage tolerated complete disrespect as you mentioned but it hasn't been any issue at this time anyway. She is a complete joy to be around all the time unless I pursue and push her buttons. Then she simply withdraws from any conversation no mean words or anger. I could work on ignoring her text some assuming she ever sends me one that isn't just a typical courtesy text of I'm not coming back for dinner or I've arrived at my destination safely. I'm really not sure what else tough love could be I don't really believe it's disrespect so I can't just be mean or go around informing everyone about the affair so she can feel slut shamed or something. It already been made pretty clear I should keep the entire sitch as quiet as possible if I want to hope for reconcile.
Yep, your instincts are correct on tough love. Yes cutting her off financially would be one option, but every situation is different. We typically tell LBSs not to fund your WW's lifestyle, or pay them to cheat and leave you. But again, that is based on everyone situation. But you get the point. sandi may have some additional ideas. And the tough love thing is kind of controversial. Since sandi is a former WW I personally would listen to her, but there are others here that do no advocate tough love, at least some of the tactics we've discussed. And anyone reading this should understand that WWs are not the same as regular WAWs.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
