I’m sorry you are having trouble sleeping. That will subside over time.
So here is what is happening with the difference in attitudes with you and your son. He doesn’t feel safe being nice to you right now. Why? Because if he’s nice to you then you are going to pursue him and then he’s going to have to hurt you again.
As far as your 180s you are asking him to judge a few months of certain behaviors against 10 years or previous behaviors. It’s going to take a really long time for him to believe this changes are real and that it is safe to be nice to you again.