Again, it’s been over 6 months that he moved out, and I still have no clue where he is living and he’s NEVER expressed wanting to have the kids over at his place.
I said to him as this proceeds, he should take most of his clothes and do his own laundry/dry cleaning. His response was, “so you want me to move out.” I said, “you already did.” H laughs and said, “I literally have three shirts with me.” I said, “well, I’m sure you have room in your place to put some more clothes.”
Weird, weird, weird. I second what WF said above-- their behavior, choices, responses are all so strange and illogical. And I bet your H was someone who was always logical before this? Like when my H was talking about S and D for so long, had built up this crazy fantasy, and had been talking about moving out and what the D would be like for months. And when he finally told me the full story about the A and the next day when I started pulling financial information he was like whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?? Completely-- as wayfarer says-- aghast. I just don't get what is going on in their heads.
I know I'm stuck on the laundry thing but holy cow. He feels like he still lives at your house, keeps all his clothes there, yet is never actually there? And taking his clothes and doing his own laundry means you are asking him to MO? SO STRANGE.
I just want to say I know this is so difficult and you are handling it like a pro. You're such a good mom and totally putting your kids first. This time right now is crazy and hard for everyone and you do need to give yourself a break. Is there a good friend from home you can call and vent to? You know you always have us here!!
And... it could be worse. He could be living at home and being awful and you'd be stuck together. This way you are dealing with the kids and life on your own, but you do have space and peace from his craziness too.
(((HUGS)))
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
