Searching for calm with shelter-in-place roommate

[may22]

Hi Cardinal,

And I arrive at: How can he ever think what he’s done is forgiveable? How do MLCers who get so far from themselves work their way out of this tunnel and then think they can reconnect after all the drama?

I don't know that they think what they did *is* forgivable. I think that is part of the problem. I imagine him having dug this deep, deep hole and at some points when he has flashes of normalcy he looks at the walls around him and the light so far up there and simply can't imagine how he can get out. And climbing out would also entail truly facing up to his behaviors and how they've affected you. So he pretends he doesn't want out of the hole, even to himself, and keeps digging down because maybe eventually he'll come out on the other side.

It's sad, honestly.

By no less than 24 hours after the spewing, with what I’ve learned here, I was feeling much better and stronger. Emotions do change. His words lost much of their power over me.

That's terrific. I'm glad-- reaching that point of balance is so important. Keep it up!