And then it was over.

[BlueSea]

All -- I have a WAS with MLC
I found out about my husbands affair on Feb 25th - he went from a kind husband, to cruel & uncaring that day, Feb 25th. Spent a few weeks where he was trying to convince me that he could have both of us, he could compartmentalize, it would work. She was the best friend he ever had. He finally stopped seeing her and then stopped talking to her - that took about 3 weeks.

The last month, we were going on walks, talking - really getting along, good conversation - he is impressed at the changes I have made - and says he knows I have really have changed. He would say he loved me. He would say I had so many great qualities, as a person,as a friend. Then last Sunday, complete 180, he was done - its over - he is going to leave.

He says he truly believes I have made fundamental changes, and that things would be better between us, but he does not love me or have that 'emotional' connection any longer. He is leaving. For the time he is here, while getting his items in order, he says he will continue to consider us...but I think that he is just buying time.

He is still exercising obsessively every day, taking his testosterone shots, human growth shots, minoxidil for his hair line - and dressing in concert T shirts like a 20 yr old. And talking to me in a cold tone with cold uncaring eyes. He does not seem to care even for the kids. He is detaching from us all. He is leaving.

Should I do a 180 and kick him out? or see if staying here would make any difference? His brother is willing to fly out and talk (some sense) to him. Should I invite him to come? will that even help?

I am just exhausted and can not see the forest for the trees, can someone please point out what I am missing or next steps. Feeling hopeless.


Me: 50
Husband: 49
D: 16
S: 13
Married for 23 years
D Day: Feb 25th 2020
Emotional & Physical affair Dec 2019 - Feb 2020