Sage - still looking for the KEY that says "this is what happened that led to that that led to this that led to the bomb."
Don't we kindda need to though? in order not to get there again?
Minnie -- well, yah, we need to know the factors that contributed but I was sort of poking fun at myself that I keep looking for the laundry list:
we were happy you did this I did this you did this I did this you did this - twice! etc
There was a time pre-bomb when h and I seemed very happy -- at least I thought we were. then, I dunno, it gets blurry...we stopped hanging out together as much, money got tighter which probably made me worry, ow entered as a "friend" sometime during that period, I started feeling angry and scared, h felt...on and on.
but who really knows the true sequence of events?
I guess what I most wonder is this...if h had felt happy in our m. would ow's presence have mattered? And if h felt unhappy, what was he unhappy about? and did ow's presence (as a friend) make him feel less happy with me (comparisons, etc)?
unfortunately no one left a breadcrumb trail....
On another note...a guy who works for me just asked to speak to me for "5 minutes" -- 90 minutes later I loaned him my copy of "Divorce Remedy"....
Yes...he came to me to warn me that his head isn't in the game right now because he and his wife are having serious m. problems...they are talking about separating. they have a six year old son.
sounds like a lot of their problems are around miscommunications and missed expectations. Also, how they each individually "problem solve". Interestingly, without ever having heard of the book he also essentially identified that he felt that he and he w. spoke different LLs I guess I'll loan him that book next!
I'm glad he came to me...I remember feeling very lost and upset at work and wishing that I could tell my boss that I may need some slack for a bit.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
